I Can't Believe I Did It / Studio Sale

I know what you’re thinking. What’s the big deal. Okay, you had a studio sale this month. So many small businesses do.

You have no idea how hard it was for me to like actually do it.

You see. I always want my space to look lovely. Even though I truly believe in the perfectly imperfect, I never thought I would be comfortable inviting new faces into my space before I felt it was ready. Before I had the gardens complete, and lush greenery. It takes years for plants to mature. Yet another reason to not do the thing. Another excuse to stay in my sacred space, and just post online. Which I have not been doing that consistently.

One day, I looked around my small but yet mighty studio. I began moving things around, grabbing a table for inside the house. I set up half of this tiny space like a little boutique. One wall in my studio is painted a soft pale limewash pink. It gives me this, I stepped into this old building feeling when the soft yellow lights are on. I placed artwork on the walls, and displayed all of my ceramics and jewelry on shelves that I already owned. It truly felt like a boutique that I had dreamt of. Only a very teeny tiny version. I played café music and boy, was I nervous. What if no one showed up? was all I could think of. I had planned this for awhile. What if no one showed up. Slowly but surely, you did show up. You browsed my handmade pieces, we snacked on banana bread and lemon loaf, and we drank sparkling lemonade. My friends son played in the water. Oh yea, I forgot to mention it poured that morning, leaving my back yard a swampy mess. We sat in the courtyard, and we chatted. We connected. It was absolutely all that I could have asked for.

Do I want a small boutique? Do I want a large art studio? Do I want to garden every spare moment that I have?

I don’t have the answers. But as I sit here in my unfinished courtyard, the sun is setting, and it’s a bit chilly for this time of the year. As I look around and see garden beds (one with veggies and the other with well umm an unsuccessful crop) I am happy. I am so happy that I invited you over. I’m happy that I grew one tomato and like ten green beans.

I know I take these moments for granted. Already thinking about the next project. The next thing I need to get done while we still have warm weather and daylight at 8:30pm. But as I sit here, I’m savoring this feeling, and writing it down to share with all of you.

I cannot thank you enough for being here with me on this creative journey. You have no idea how much it means to me. How much creating has healed me and is still healing me. How much you are healing me. I literally feel like crying at this moment, but all I can say is thank you so very much.

Maybe I still don’t know what I’m building yet. Maybe I just need to keep building a life that feels like this.

Sending you so much love and gratitude.