Kissing You Goodbye (2024)
As I flip through my calendar, (okay it's a handmade notebook that I made years ago, with thrifted fabric and scrap paper), I like to take a look at the things I've accomplished, things that did not come to fruition, goals that I set, places I visited etc, etc. I like to see if I’m on the “right" path, do I even want this “path” anymore. Whats the right “path” anyways?
(SHOWS): I always feel like I didn’t do enough shows to reach my goals. Do you ever have that feeling of not enough? But when I look back in my handy dandy book, I participated in plenty of shows, that fit into my currently lifestyle and my mental capacity.
Speaking on Mental Capacity, lets just have a conversation on that. Do grab a lovely cup of tea in your favorite mug (wink, wink), get cozy, but not to cozy that you spill your hot beverage, and lets chat. I am the hardest on myself, and feel discouraged when I look back and see all of the things that I didn’t accomplish in the past 12 months. Each day goes by in a blink of an eye, and before you know it, it's December and we are watching the ball drop, getting ready to set new goals, and day dream new dreams. I can only handle so much. Learning new skills, new techniques on top of being present every single day. It's a daily struggle and at the end of the year, I am giving myself grace, and a bit more understanding. At the end of the year when I should be pushing the most, I am simple EXHAUSTED. All caps because I literally want to scream. But I don’t scream, or cry, (not this time) I grab a pieces of paper, and pen, and like its 1998, I write it all down. If you feel like your failing, and you feel like your struggling and damn, you thought it would all be figured out by now, just know you are NOT and I repeat you are NOT alone.
(Honesty) I wrote in my handy dandy handmade notebook back in February that I wanted to incorporate more garden days, more eating alfresco, more feeling grounded like feet on the cool grass, lungs breathing in the air, and just watching the stars twinkling in the night sky, because, well because it feels amazing. It feels amazing to not overbook myself, and do nothing. I had a few days throughout the year where I was able to just soak up sun rays, or stare out the window watching the rain fall, or sit in the studio listening to the rain hit the metal roof, but not nearly enough days, I need more.
(It Hurts) It hurts that I didn’t get into one of the shows that I thought I wanted to get into. As I strolled around, visiting fellow artisans, buying and chatting, and finally heading to the car with my son and SIL, the wind picked up and the rain began to fall, I felt grateful. I headed to lunch and I wasn’t holding down my tent (I’ve been there) and I wasn’t praying my hand painted water color cards didn’t get soaked and ruined, and a gust of wind didn’t blow my dainty pieces to the muddy ground (again, I’ve been there). GRATEFUL.
(Resilient) When you love what you do, and even if no one shows up for you, but you got the attention of one kind soul that loves your work. When that kind soul stops at your table at some random popup event, and shows me the earrings that she bought last year and is wearing them today or that one special piece that you made, thinking of no one but yourself sells at its very first debut, you keep going. Or the beautiful soul that stops you in a bookstore to tell you she has one of your vases, you keep going even if no one is watching. I absolutely love creating with my hands and having a story to tell. I love sharing bits and pieces of my imagination and day dreams.
(Favorite moments) I’ll share just a few because I don’t want your tea or coffee to get cold!
- taking a random trip to Ellicottville (it was our first time there) and visiting Wild-Roamer and picking up a few things like rose syrup for cocktails or coffee, and one of her cool screen printed tees. I love pairing a tee with a long prairie like skirt for the summer or layer in the cold winter months. (I hope to do more OOTD and more story telling).
- walking around Reinstein in the brisk air, watching a family of deer walk right in front of us, baking, celebrating birthdays, watching Practical Magic even if it was on Nov 1st.
- beach strolls, and watching Ellie gift Aaron a handmade card made of scraps of paper with thick black marker, stickers, (a few other things) and a handful of different size and colors of pebbles that she collected over the summer.
Did you know, that the Ellie Marie Bracelet is named after her because a few years ago when she was very small, she gifted Aaron a rock and I adore her kind and silly, loving spirit, that I rolled out a piece of porcelain and traced the shape of the rock, and created the Ellie Marie Bracelet. Small acts of kindness are beautiful.
(Kissing you goodbye, 2024). Wow, another year has come and gone. A year of setting up tents, and holding them down, a year of breathing deep, creating pieces to share with you. I survived and sold pieces, and broke pieces, and made connections with some pretty amazing people. I hope you had a beautiful year. And even if it wasn’t what you expected, or hoped for, know that you are not alone.
Lets set some goals, lets get a bit more grounded, lets day dream and use our imaginations, let the tears rolls when they need to and lets laugh so hard that it hurts. Stay on the path, or veer off and find a new one, but we got this!
Sending you love and hugs and wishing you a beautiful new year.